Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Getting better?

Another tough day, with the Monkey refusing to take a bottle. Eventually he took a few ounces from a sippy cup, and I got a little sweet potato into him. But he is missing his mama during the day too much to feed.

Not wanting to risk a meltdown away from the comforts of home, I chickened out on a trip to the supermarket.

I did get to take a nap with the little Monkey today, though. I don't know if I have ever taken a daytime nap with him, certainly not for 40 minutes. I didn't sleep: I'm normally not much of a napper, and I got uncomfortable trying not to disturb him.

So I watched him breathe. Deeply and regularly. Reassuringly perceptible, compared to his shallow newborn breaths. Watching his elastic skin inflate, and deflate. Seeing through his skin. Sensing each pulse of his heart as it drives depleted blood ahead of charged blood in perfect circulatory rhythm. Seeing his happy little organs all piled onto one another, clean and undisturbed.

After he woke up, I laid him on the floor to play with blocks while I fixed my mandolin bridge. Music time just got pluckier!


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